Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Motivational Moments Article / Stop Playing the Blame Game with Yvette
Wilson Bentley
One of the first things that I learned when I
truly entered into a relationship with God is that I had to stop playing the
blame game. I had to stop pointing the
blame and accepting responsibility for the things that had happened in my life
and all that I didn’t do in my life up until my early 30s and even beyond for
the rest of my life.
One of the most comfortable things I had
found in blaming others is that it relatively easy and comfortable to point
away from the self and assign the blame to another human being, a group of
human beings, churches, schools, jobs – whatever represented anything or anyone
other than Yvette. But to turn the blame
on self, rather accept the fact that the blame lies with the self and belongs
to the self is a horse of a different color, let me tell you!
To say the least, having to look at self is
not pretty. Looking at self does not
afford one the luxury of having variety in the scenery or different focal
points – you are it, baby! Like the late
Michael Jackson sang, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror; I’m asking him
to change his ways.” When you are
staring at self in the mirror, it is the reflection of self that dominates the
perimeter of the mirror. You may catch a
glimpse of background objects, but you are the featured attraction.
“Nowhere to Run” was one of my favorite songs
by Martha & the Vandellas when I was growing up, but it wasn’t until I was
in my mid-thirties when I realized the words of the song, “Nowhere to run;
nowhere to hide,” aligned with a statement that a friend had shared with
me: Wherever you go, there you are!
As a child, I used to visit one of my best
friend’s regularly and one of our favorite games was hide-and-seek. my favorite place to was to hide was in the
closet in her mother’s room. My friend’s
mother had a walk-in closet in her bedroom with one long rack on the back wall
that she hung her coats. Well, that was
my spot. Every time we played that
game, that was the first place I would go hide.
And every time I would go hide there, that’s where my friends would find
me. I remember I used to say, “Why you
always gotta find me?” “Because you
always hiding in the same place.”
As a ten year old child, the experience of
playing hide-and-seek bared little significance for me, other than playing with
my peers, but to view it from and adult perspective, my experiences of playing
hide-and-seek is a clear illustration of one of my familiar and favored
definitions of insanity: trying the same thing expecting different
results.
The same behavior I exhibited in playing hide-and-seek was the exact same
behavior when I was ‘hiding out in my own mind” – trying to find somewhere to
hide and people kept finding me in the same hiding place. Would things have been different if I had
discovered what others already knew - that my so-called “hiding place” was
actually a public forum? I would like to think things would have been
different, but if it were not for my life’s experiences – both good and bad – I
would not be the person that I am today.
I challenge you to stop playing the blame
game!
A native of Louisville , KY
In 2012, Yvette
self-published three inspirational/motivational books: Enhancing the
Journey, Enhancing the Journey: The Journey Journal and Pebbles in the
Sand. In addition, Yvette launched Words 2 Life LLC, which provides
manuscript editing and formatting services for clients seeking to self-publish
their works.Yvette is also an inspirational/motivational speaker who delivers
messages that motivates, and encourages people in an arousing yet compassionate
manner.
Bentley is
currently writing her fourth book, a memoir about various accounts of her life,
which is scheduled to be released in the winter of 2013. For more
information visit www.ywilsonbentley.com
